officialunitedstates:

trees in the wind need to calm down nobody asked you to rustle so much

me and bae having sex
  • bae: mmm yeah fuck me baby
  • me: put a quarter in the swear jar

officialburger:

im not like other teenagers, im 51


twiabpaianlatfwnogf:

My Brand New Dad.

shamanshendu:

idelity:

Egypt, China, Russia and Iran’s governments have now all criticized the USA over the human rights being broken in Ferguson. 

What a fucking embarrassment.

nicotinerampage:

telemiscommunication:

telemiscommunication:

Fairy World?

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Scary World

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You’re not that scary.

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Well, here’s a picture of your grandma’s feet! 

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It burns! 

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Fairy World?

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Hairy World.

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Dairy World?

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Hairy World.

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Oh, darn it!

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you know you’ve seen that show too many times when you read all that in their voices.